*UNAUTHORIZED REPRODUCTION, DISTRIBUTION, OR ADAPTATION WILL NOT BE TOLERATED (UNLESS IT MAKES FOR A GREAT ANECDOTE, IN WHICH CASE, LET’S TALK). ALL OPINIONS, INSIGHTS, AND QUESTIONABLE WISDOM HEREIN ARE MY OWN UNLESS OTHERWISE STOLEN, BORROWED, OR SUBCONSCIOUSLY ABSORBED FROM GREATER MINDS. FOR MATTERS OF BUSINESS, ART, OR GENERAL INTRIGUE, I CAN BE REACHED THROUGH THE USUAL CHANNELS. IF THIS IS FOUND DECADES FROM NOW IN A DUSTY ARCHIVE, LET THE RECORD SHOW: I MEANT EVERY WORD.